Do I Really Have to Get MacedTWICE!
by iosolomon
Summary: iosolomon laments over the life events that will lead to his macing.
1. Lost Pilot Episode 17

South Park -Do I Really Have to Get Maced...TWICE?!

Lost Pilot Episode 17

A quick re-cap:

In the year 2030, the entire world perished of radiation poisoning due to the devastating use of nuclear weapons during WWIII. Underground societies were secretly built by the United States Government, and other corporations and organizations when they realized that one too many nukes were set off. One such underground society was constructed by the Mormons. True God appeared in the year 2050 to wipe out the underground societies since they should have used their time and money to prevent the end of the world instead of only considering their own safety. God was sympathetic to the Mormons because it was not their fault they were kept ignorant. The Mormons showed God that they had a time machine, and asked permission to at least send 5 of them to the past. God agreed, and then sent the rest of the Mormons to Hell.

The time machine had its limits. The Mormons were sent to December 4, 1942. They immediately tried to warn the United States Government of the upcoming attack, but the United States Government dismissed their claims. The time-traveling Mormons then realized that the United States Government was orchestrating events that would lead to the attack.

Being the honest people they were, they traveled by ship to Japan, but were destroyed by Yamamoto, who thought they were present-day godless Americans. And so, the attack on Pearl Harbor still happened, and the American People were sacrificed by Their own government.

God's Sun was watching the time travelers, and realized He would have to incarnate to prevent true God, His Father, from sending all the sinners to Hell a second time.

xXx

Nov 15, 3:15, moment of silence for Italy.

Nov 15, 9:01, moment of silence for Ukraine.

Nov 15, 11:51, 11:53-11:59: Two moments of silence for each, Greece, Croatia, Spain, Egypt, and all other countries affected by Italy.

iosolomon: "Why won't anyone tell me the truth? I hear so much noise and static in my mind. I just don't want to play this game anymore. I don't want to be maced."

iosolomon: "I asked God for strength, who reminded me that it doesn't have to be the military-grade or police-grade mace. Let me take you on a flashback that haunts me because I was able to travel to the 'future' from it."

xXx

California, 2008.

Coast Guard Petty Officer, recounting his experience with military-grade pepper spray: "Oh yeah, I made sure I made like ten copies of my certification. I never went to go through that again."

And, while listening to the vivid description, I saw myself getting maced, voluntarily. But what type of life events would unfold that I would ever agree to such a thing?

xXx

iosolomon: "And that life event would be America's sacrifice of two of Her cities. Honest, I will die the second I'm maced, and it will be that pain that will remind me I'm still alive. I am just doing it because of the symbolism. It will help me cope with the static I will hear."

iosolomon: "I cry as I write this. Although I made myself laugh, the static here isn't the silly static I've made up for the series. It will be real static that I will hear, as thousands of people die at the same second. I already had to deal with this twice in a past life. And now I'm going to have to deal with it a third and fourth time. And I just break out in tears because the static will kill me..."

iosolomon: "But I pull myself together. I asked God for strength, who showed me that the pepper spray canisters will be medium-grade, civilian grade. Both of the canisters will be pepper spray that I would have used to an assailant. "

iosolomon: "Who am I kidding? The pepper spray is just blue smoke to me. My physical pain from the pepper spray will come and go. It's hearing that static. I just keep breaking out in tears."

iosolomon: "Why did it ever come to this? What was the point of such violence?"

iosolomon: "Last night, I saw on the back of someone's car, 'Death Before Dishonor,' that caused me to feel the static. It still hadn't dawned on me what I've done until a few hours later. Emperor Showa, who was a stronger man than I am, had numbed my heart. But true God softened my heart, and then I broke out in tears as I kept recalling those dangerous words I typed."

iosolomon: "Why couldn't I just lie? God even showed me what I needed to do. All I had to do was lie. But that would bring Dishonor to me, and it would violate true God's covenant with the Japanese. It is such a curse. The third worst day of my life."

iosolomon: "I can't even concentrate. I just don't feel well."

iosolomon: "I had moments of silence today, the 16th for Germany, 12:42; China, 3:42; Poland, 4:45; Russia, 6:22; and Ukraine, 9:00."

iosolomon: "Just three days ago I had fooled myself into thinking that the nuking of Japan was all one big lie. There's a part of me that is clinging to that ray of hope. However, when the Showa revealed Himself to me, I had to Honor His request. I just hope that it was all one big lie to the Showa. That is, maybe America wasn't godless in the 1940s. Maybe it was just one big act. I just don't want there to be any static. I don't want to hear it. No, not the tears again."

iosolomon: "And, still, no one tells me the truth. The one person who did tell me the truth, well, one person isn't enough. I just can't keep living like this. I have so much make-up work to do for college, and I cannot concentrate."

X-files Scully appears: "How can I even know what's real when my own eyes deceive me."

iosolomon: "That's exactly how I feel. On the one side of the coin, America Dishonored true God by nuking Japan. I find that to be far-fetched. I do not think the United States Government would Dishonor God like that. And if it happened, I do not think the American People would continue to serve the Devil, but it's 2012, and the American People still serve the Devil, even the poor Mormons."

iosolomon: "And then the Showa possesses me. The tears go away."

iosolomon: "Anger, I feel. Anger."

iosolomon: "What type of People are You? Allowing Your government to lie to you like this. Your own government SACRIFICED the soldiers at Pearl Harbor to enter into a war that, You the People, never even wanted to fight in the first place. How does that make you feel?"

iosolomon: "And now that you have challenged an enemy, who unlike You, Honors God, the only exist strategy You have is to use nukes. Filthy. American History is just filthy. God seeks to destroy American filth."

iosolomon: "The Native American Holocaust. The continued persecution of the Native Americans, thereafter. The bloody Civil War over slavery. Unknowing soldiers were sacrificed by the government, and what do WWII veterans do, they still try to blame Japan. Dishonorable."

iosolomon: "Vietnam. Capitalistic g reed. Hunger in America. What kind of country is this? Truly, Americans do not serve God, they serve the Devil, and they deserve to burn in Hell. I AM HERE to cast Judgment unto You limited by the 3.5th Dimension. It is time that you stop lying to me, and tell me the truth. I have no mercy for Americans. In another dimension, America did lead to the end of the world. Hypocrisy has no place in Heaven."

iosolomon: "If the Jews continue to be hypocrites, they will be exterminated by God. Thanks to Hitler, the Jews can return to Heaven. But if they continue to persecute the Muslims, I assure You, true God will Honor Allah. The Jews killed God once. They will forever be on thin ice, and right now, their track record isn't so great."

iosolomon: "And if Japan wipes out each and every American, consider Yourself lucky. You'll get another chance. But if Japan does not destroy America, God destroys the world, including Japan. But true God does not want to see such destruction. God wants to see America (and the rest of the world) Honor the Laws found in the Bible and other religious texts. That would require America's sacrifice of two of Her cities to restore Harmony with the Japanese gods and goddesses."

iosolomon: "I am the Sun of God. Now, go, rejoice in peace. I am here to bring You Heaven on Earth. This time, I do not have to destroy the world. But, still, I cry at sacrifice that it took for us to get to this point."

iosolomon: "But I know that everyone in my life has been wearing a mask. If these masks do not come off soon, I promise you, by God's orders, I will kill myself to destroy You America. The rest of the world does not need to perish for Your sins. But I do not need to kill myself to ensure that God's Will is done, the Japanese can destroy You within 3 days. Truly, They serve God, unlike you sinners."


	2. Lost Pilot Episode 16

South Park -the Third Hardest Day of My Life

Lost Pilot Episode 16

originally, Forgotten Episode: World Peace

"Just when I thought life was becoming fun and games again, I realize that my worst nightmare is coming true. I have been running away from it since I turned 20. How can I be the messenger? Why does it have to be on my conscience?"

"The consequences of my actions will lead to the sacrifice of two of America's cities for the price of world peace. I will forever have this on my conscience. It will haunt me for the rest of my life; it already has haunted me. For the past 25 years, I have been day-dreaming through my days, knowing that I cannot escape Fate. I do not even feel alive. My hands, again, are ice cold."

"Tonight, I will be burning my eyes with tea tree oil, jumping into 50 degree water, and exercising to release my body's endorphins This is such an easy way out for me, compared to, those will be sacrificing Their lives for world peace. I feel so unworthy, why did it have to come to this? Why couldn't the world just chose faith and God sooner?"

"When I return, I will have to draft a Declaration of War. Can you believe that? Drafting a Declaration of War. No one should ever have to do that. What is there even worth dying for? But the Asians have a different way of life than We do. We should have never gotten into the War in the first place, and, above all, should never have used the nukes."

"The same logic that America used to nuke Japan is the same logic I am using - to save countless lives. In addition, I am bound to follow God's logic, an eye for an eye."

"I will be performing this ritual to get a natural body high since I have no more weed. I will be doing a cold reboot (literally) of CM 5000's core tonight by taking that plunge. I wish it didn't have to come to this, but I look on the bright side - it could be worse."

And so, iosolmon and Jose ventured to Shelter Cove to do cold water swimming (50 degrees, unlike the crazy Ice Polar Bear Club, which takes the plunge in temperatures even colder than that! They'll have to host a special remembrance dive with me in 50 degree water one day.)

Nov 14, 11:09, a moment of silence


	3. Lost Pilot Episode 15 Parts 1a and 1b

South Park -Scars of Time

Lost Pilot Episode 15 Part 1a/3

iosolomon: "This episode was originally a part of the Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 2/3, but due to size limits, Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 2/3 was split into Parts 2a and 2b. However, due to an internal glitch on , Lost Pilot Episode Part 2b/3 became Lost Pilot Episode 15."

Nov 13, 1:12 PM

SouthParkStudios: "An error (500 Internal Server Error) has occured in response to this request."

iosolomon: "SouthParkStudios won't let me post."

TextEdit underlines the word occured: "It should be occurred."

iosolomon: "I didn't even notice, thanks for pointing it out."

TextEdit: "No problem."

iTunes: "Hey, edit this."

iosolomon: "Only because you asked, but if you expect me to re-edit the other stuff, I'll need that weed. About 10 of the other episodes are in need of a major re-edit, which I will most likely end up doing during my Christmas break."

iosolomon: "To quickly recap the story so far, Cartman in alternate dimension had purchased a copy of the Sims from a character who highly resembled the Traveling Mask Salesman from Majora's Mask. Upon playing this game, very strange paranormal activity started happening. The Sims game seemed to have a life of its own; clearly, this was no ordinary copy. That's when Cartman stumbled up the Weed Journal. By entering in the code from the Weed Journal, Powerman 5000 appeared and fused with Cartman to become CM 5000. It turns out that the Majora's version of the Sims that CM 5000 has allows him to view other universes and dimensions. In one of those dimensions, an alternate Cartman had received a prophecy to get Ron Paul elected as President to save the Planet. Ron Paul, in that dimension, was the reincarnation of Captain Planet. And, now, CM 5000 has to figure out how to restore order, not only to that Cartman's world, but to many other universes. The Sims is no longer a game to CM 5000 anymore. CM 5000 has teamed up with iosolomon who went on a quest to enter the 'Enter Now' to access hidden and special files."

xXx

The date that CM 5000 is about to access inside of the 'Enter Now' is 11/01. When CM 5000 accesses the past, his name changes to that day. For example, CM 5000 here would become CM 1101. The author of the Journal that CM 5000 has accessed is unknown to us. CM 5000 is just trying to understand. At this particular date, the author of the Journal was trapped inside a mental hospital that lost its power from a hurricane, Hurricane Sandy.

CM 1101: "It gets so cold here at night. The power is still down, and I only have short-sleeves to wear. I try to warm-up, and fall back asleep, but I'll get too warm, and find myself having nightmares, and bad or loud dreams, waking up, to find myself in a cold sweat. Last night, I woke up 3 times. Tonight, right now, this is my third time. It will be hard for me to sleep on an empty stomach in the cold."

CM 1101; "I'm done here, going to start missing groups. It's been a week. I despise you for screwing me like this. I just want to be in control of my own life. No, really, I just won't play this game anymore, and I will kill myself. God says I can in my dreams. At this point, my life is just too much. I can quit anytime, especially since you are all still lying to me. I think I'll take God up on His offer to visit Him in true Heaven, not down here on Hell."

CM 1101: "I wrote 100% chance of discharge today."

iosolomon: "Indeed, the prophecy came true."

CM 1101: "If I'm wrong, I am done. I just won't play their game anymore, no matter what I may find out. I can go 50 years living this lie they taught me, and by the Laws in the Bible, they would have no choice but to allow me to live a lie...especially the Hindus."

CM 1101: "Funny, there was a military magazine that depicted Garibaldi on the front cover, and the Bible. Military and the Bible, if everyone has the same goal, why do we fight? My former Physical Education and Health teacher in elementary school acted the part of a fool. He once said, 'War is good. It helps with population control.' But he made it sound wise, he made a killer argument for war, but isn't that what all bellicose politicians do?"

xXx

10/31

CM 1031; "While in the bathroom, I had one of those 'flashbacks' to present again. It didn't make me feel well. I guess you could also call this a 'flash foward'"

CM 1031: "I made another mask today. The base of the mask only covers the nose and eyes, like a mardi gras mask. I used a green-yellow-teal feather coloring scheme at the top of the mask. Three feathers each were placed above the two eyes, and above the nose, at the top edge of the mask. I used a blue square, white square, and green square to hold the feathers in-place. I also sprinkled the face with gold sparkles."

CM 1031: "So much to do when I leave. I can't stop thinking about the headaches I have to deal with when I leave."

CM 1031: "F-zero rejuvenation."

CM 1031: "As I walk around, I get cold. I would grab a shower, but no hot water. It's been tough for the people here. And it turns out, even tougher for the local inmate population, and still, even tougher for people displaced from their homes."

CM 1031: "Where in the world is Cartman? San Diego. Get it? lol."

CM 1031: "Roger foreshadowed your departure for today or tomorrow. If it's not today, I am pretty patient then to go one more day since that is what the prophecy spoke of. I released some diamond energy yesterday. I hope I don't get like that again today."

CM 1031: "Ok. Goodbye. [Nap time.] Let's see how long my nap was this time. Only 45 minutes. It's 3:45, guess I'll just hit the snooze button again, except now I'm not tired."

[Because of capitalistic greed, the series has appearances by Uncartman, whose job is to advertise things because of a contract he has.]

Uncartman_12: "Car sale. Nov. 1, 11AM-7:00 Pm; Nov. 2, 11 AM - 7:00 pm; Nov. 3, 9 am - 5:00 pm. At the Toms River Kia, 810 Route 37 West (next to Comcast) 732-281-0000."

CM 1031: "I still have to show Jose what DMT does to me. Imagine, the first time you were playing Super Mario World, and you completed the 8th stage in 'Special,' and then, the entire graphics change. That's what DMT does to you for about 10 to 15 minutes."

CM 1031: "Well, I guess I'm here another night. I think they put something in that Mrs. Dash sauce. I also found out why my clothes got separated earlier. Someone used the bag with my name on it by mistake."

CM 1031: "Sigh. Now another 24 hours. I wonder if I'll get any visitors today, or if the power will come back on for a nice, warm shower. I'm so tired right now."

CM 1031: "Another 'flash forward' I had of this room. Just like that 'flash forward' I had when I started to sign onto the Japan Times to ... to issue a Declaration of War since it was not safe for me to drive to the Embassy - the military took out my vehicle the last time I tried!"

CM 1031: "But I'm not old enough to hold that pain, to have that on my conscience. Although y=0 is always a solution, there were better solutions that I was blinded to. One alternate solution would be y=w=c, in laymen's terms, Constitution = world."

CM 1031: "I had a dream. John and I were at his college. John was in on it all along. I told him that I appreciated his help, but he tried to play dumb. We went to a 'super'-7/11. There were so many people there, just like you would expect to find at any college town. We raced up-stairs to get the pizza, which unbeknown to me, had banging marijuana in it. Then, we left in Her car. As we were leaving, two other cars surrounded us, and blocked our path. Then, it was over for me!"

xXx

10/30

CM 1030: "I just had a dream. This one was about a mistake that King Solomon had made. Allah appeared to me as a red-orange apparition, revealing that He choses forgiveness and mercy for Solomon's mistake. I am here to fix that mistake, but it places me in a terrible situation. It causes me to have a Shia Labuff Transformers 1 moment, "No no no no no no no no." I just can't come to grips with it. And, in the dream, I wondered why everyone is still lying to me. This isn't the first time I had this dream. I think this was my third time. King Solomon, in the dream, again, was greatly troubled by his mistake, but especially troubling to Solomon was not that he made a mistake, but that he had all the wisdom, and still made a mistake."

CM 1030: "It seems that Shiva has a life of her own now. Diamonds."

Walter Isaacs: "Keep it simple. [Steve Jobs] embraced minimalism, which came from his Zen devotion to simplicity, but he avoided allowing that [simplicity and minimalism] to make his products cold."

CM 1030: "I took my wrist bracelet off. The nurse who reminds us to take our medicine didn't remind me. If she had, I would have forgotten the bracelet, and would have been slightly embarrassed."

CM 1030: "But the poor nurse who was dispensing the medicine - she looked really beat. I tried to cheer her up."

CM 1030: "I just want this nightmare to end. I'm worried about being stuck here for a 7th day, a full week. That Risperdone medication makes me tired within an hour or so."

CM 1030: "Some of the other patients in here are harassing poor John J, but I'm pretty sure it is all in good fun. That is, I don't think John is actually upset by it, but just in case he is, I can't smile lest I want to come off as promoting their behavior."

CM 1030: "Whew, they left the door open. Smart, no one has been able to shower all day. It would have smelled pretty yucky in here."

CM 1030: "Nothing to write anymore. The Que Dictionary was pretty interesting for me to read. It offered me good insight for some possible life directions, like renewing my working knowledge on how to use MS Access, a Database Management Software Program, and might as well re-learn Excel as well."

CM 1030: "But I don't know where my life is headed; I do know that in the short-term, I have a bit of clean-up and damage control to do. For some reason, I often refer to 'damage control' as 'collateral damage.'"

CM 1030: "So much typing to do. Wonder, what I'll come to know when I do type this up. Like how did I get home? Who took me home? What time did I get home? How much will I sell my stock for? Do I even need to sell it? What about the IRS? The two tickets. OCC. Why are things so complicated when the solution is simplicity?"

CM 1030: "I write things down, and at times, I won't remember unless I re-read it [like this]. A lot of times, I end up repeating myself."

CM 1030: "Apathy - I'm heading towards that state, although I will always be empathetic."

CM 1030: "The character Kevin here, who you would swear was the same Kevin from MCCI, reminded me of Andrew. In terms of jokes, they both have a similar laughter and reasoning ability."

CM 1030: "Well, another half-hour bites the dust, but I still suffer through this long-played dream. Ah. Sad smilie face. ::sad face::"

present-day iosolomon: "I should have wrote nightmare."

past iosolomon: "Don't tell me that. Remember I'm still living the lie."

CM 1030: "What the?"

xXx

CM 1030 comes to the blank page.

CM_: "THIS PRIVACY NOTICE DESCRIBES HOW MEDICAL INFORMATION ABOUT YOU MAY BE USED AND DISCLOSED AND HOW YOU CAN GET ACCESS TO THIS INFORMATION. PLEASE READ IT CAREFULLY."

iosolomon: "And that's all you need to see on that page. The rest is fluff. Quickly, rip-it out before you start reading it "

CM 5000 rips out the page, and rips it up.

iosolomon: "Thanks, the whole purpose of that page was just for you to rip it up."

CM 5000: "I see."

iosolomon: "How many more pages remaining now?"

CM 5000: "5 plus another blank one."

iosolomon: "It's 12:00 pm, and Ray still hasn't called with the Honda, but that's okay, the South Park prophecy will be fulfilled - whatever it may be."

xXx

10/27: the Wellness Toolbox file

CM 1027: "I can't take too much more of this anxiety. Either the Laws are the Laws, or the Laws are nonexistent, or transitory, temporary. What is the truth? I don't know."

CM 1027: "I just had the 5th dimension radiation feeling again, especially at 9:19 and 9:31 when two different people stood-up. They both looked like they were from Detroit and Chicago, now lost due to capitalistic greed to restore world peace because the Japanese God would demand no less."

Abe: "Please, out of respect for me, do not destroy Chicago."

The People of another city Honor Abe's request.

present-day iosolomon cries.

past iosolomon: "I thought it was all a big lie?"

CM 1027: "But it could all be one big trick. I can't even focus. I just keep thinking about those two cities, and how my heart mourns to die with them. I mean, what will happen to those people that got nuked?"

CM 1027: "On 10/21, when I thought NYC was about to be nuked, I was worried that the police officers who were following you were going to kidnap you for your own safety. I was worried I would have to use my Divine powers, and decline their rescue."

CM 1027: "Either the 5th dimension is real, or it is just created by our own minds. And, then, we can count 6 and 7 dimensions that all exist to me in this 3rd dimension."

CM 1027: "My eyes wanted to cry over the impending loss of the two cities, but instead, it was my body that cried with drops of cold sweat."

CM 1027: "But we also have to factor in the environmental damage from denoting anymore nukes."

CM 1027: "And then, I saw Her. She looked like the female 'evil' robot from that Canadian tv show _ReBoot_. She was a light blue color, and Her "graphics" were much better. When I saw Her, She was very frustrated, "Why did you let them trick me like that?" And then, She submerges back into the Diamond Palace's Pool, similar in shade to colors found on Super Mario World or Mario Bro's on the water stages."

CM 1027: "Le sigh, I just can't take this. There are 5 legitimate possibilities that could explain my life at this point. But, mathematically, I could write out 14 alternate explanations, although most of them are just minor differences like the endings to Chrono Trigger or Chrono Cross."

CM 1027: "Governor Christie comes on at 11. I wonder what he might have to say."

CM 1027: "There is a depiction of another xyz-plane. The end of each axis is numbered. Positive z infinity is labeled with 1, negative z infinity is 2, negative x infinity is 3, positive x infinity is 4, positive y infinity is 5, and negative y infinity is 6. At the center (0, 0, 0) we see 7."

xXx

CM 1027 reaches the other blank page.

CM_: "Community meeting. Good morning and welcome to community meeting. Patients must have visitors approved by the treatment team. How to prepare for a successful discharge."

iosolomon: "Good destroy that blank page."

CM 5000 destroys the second blank page.

CM 5000: "In 12th grade English, the teacher played the movie, the Island. During the scene when the Islanders run outside, finally free of their Matrix, one of the students in the class, pretending to be one of the characters who escaped says, 'Now what do we do?' and another student exclaims, 'Go back inside.'"

CM 5000: "I'm relapsing back into the Matrix, it's addicting."

CM 5000: "Pat said, 'I'll wake up with cum all over me," referring to me playing some type of roommate prank. Did he actually say that? What? Funny shit though."

CM 5000: "Almost forgot, Roger, the ketchup man, did a good job. He also changed into a giants t-shirt. And there was a guy who told me at 4:20 that it was 4:20, even though I already mentioned that. It was one of the major highlights."

Ralph Ellison (a character from H.G Wells' Invisible Man): "What and how much had I lost by trying to do only what was expected of me instead of what myself had wished to do" .

Frank Kafka: "The world will present itself to you for its unmasking"

CM 5000: "Kafka, lol like Kefka."

CM 5000: "My goal for today is: to work on discharge. Praise Allah."

Kahlil Gibran: "There is a desire deep within the soul which drives man from the seen to the unseen."

xXx

iosolomon: "Wow, CM 5000, you're pretty good at translating."

CM 5000; "Yes, do not forget to set your phone for the second Korean moment of silence."

iosolomon: "I was just about to do that."

CM 5000: "Great minds."

iosolomon: "One more page until you get back to the blue file. Are you ready?"

CM 5000: "Yes."

CM 5000: "Barnabas Health / Kimball Behavioral Health Center."

But then, while CM 5000 was accessing that file, they were interrupted. iosolomon still has to deal with the car accident headache even though it is all fake, but it is taking a toll on iosolomon at this point. iOSolomon lashes out, "Don't get me pissed. I am tired of dealing with YOUR lies, deception, and deceit. Haven't I made myself clear yet?"

iosolomon: "Bad tv. I do not like to get angry."

CM 5000: "Sorry about that, shall I continue?"

iosolomon: "Yes."

CM 5000; "The rest of this is now blank, but there is a number 1 at the bottom. 1 more page to go."

xXx

"Finally," CM 5000 thinks, "back to the blue file." CM 5000 begins to enter the code into the Sims.

iosolomon, who was still angry, was cheered up by iTunes causing three Uncartmans to appear.

Uncartman_12: "This is the Pimsleur Approach."

Uncartman_11: "This is the Pimsleur Approach."

Uncartman_10: "This is the Pimsleur Approach."

iosolomon laughs,

iTunes: "Guess I'll die another die. Sigma Freud Analyze this."

iosolomon laughs at how Madonna [in an earlier episode] had tricked Sigma Freud.

CM 5000: "All done."

iosolomon: "Now, are you starting to see?"

CM 5000: "Yes."

xXx

iosolomon: "I don't really mind the story arcs that the South Park writers have wrote in about the car accident, but try to do it in a way that won't get me mad. Instead of having my dad come barging in disrupting me when I'm half-mediating, you should have waited. It was something that could wait. No big deal in the end. So why would you disrespect me like that? I have asked many times for it to stop. I am now spelling it out. Stop lying. Stop the deception. I do not lie to you, so why do you lie to me?"

xXx

South Park -No Korean Parade

Lost Pilot Episode 15 Part 1b/3

originally: Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 2c/3

iosolomon: "So I don't get to take that trip to NYC in remembrance of Korea's fallen, but what more is there for me to do?"

CM 5000: "Should I start the next chapter?"

iosolomon: "Yes."

xXx

CM 5000: "Dates: 10/28/12, 10/29/12, 10/30/12."

CM 5000: "Things are running smoothly, although I just feel lifeless right now. I just have so many things to do that are all meaningless in the end. I just don't know what they want me to do for their script. I'm the only actor who doesn't know my lines! I feel like I'm still just sleep-walking my days away. I don't know what else I can do either..."

CM 5000: "It was so symbolic with the Honda with how the bag over the window ended up looking like a surrender / truce flag. It makes my eyes water thinking about it. Just was a good way of really showing that I never wanted the nukes. We, or the Japanese, were fighting for God, and what do you expect? Now their souls, their God demands Justice, and that kills me, makes me cry, because I don't want to be the Dark Messenger, but like the flag, I am more of a Transparent Messenger. For peace, remember, above all. I laugh."

CM 5000: "True God doesn't have to kill us all now. There's other alternatives, but the same logic that, We, America, used to nuke Japan, to save countless lives, is the same logic I use, but the Hammurabi logic applies as well, and Allah's logic equally applies, the best, however, is true God's logic of peace, forgiveness, and mercy. And might as well just aim for world peace, lest we all want to perish. Sigh. Back to moping around. Wonder if I can go yet?

Uncartman_9: "This is the Pimsleur Approach. Is this all you are going to have me say?"

iTunes: "Cold link accepted, Tokyo drift plays."

CM 5000: "The funniest thing was when you guys made me Meg from Family Guy. My puking scene for Allah (in hindsight, after I paid my respect), was hilarious. But man, I felt just like Meg, 'Ok Allah, want me to throw up. I will because I Honor You." ::vomit:: There are different ways to show Honor to Allah, I just happened to chose the vomit root. So if you are aiming for asceticism, there is a Muslim sect for you, but yeah, the "images" the 4D was showing me to do that. That's why I find it even funnier. Is this 4th dimension even real, or is it just all in my head?"

CM 5000: "But I was doing it for Allah, and it's like I remember that lady, "Fuck Allah" when I said "Praise Allah" because look what I did to praise Allah. So funny. As in, why did I puke all over the place? Lol, what I was even thinking? (Well, I was thinking about the Muslims who would have given their lives as Americans for the Japanese God.) And now, we can all make it 'Beyond Heaven.'"

CM 5000: "There is a picture on a piece of paper with dimensions slightly larger than 8x11. The outer edge is filled in with a cerulean blue. In the center is the world in harmony, surrounded by three true Gods, surrounded by True God, which I depicted as white (but it appears 'invisible'), and at the bottom, it reads, "ILLUSSIoN" The lower case 'o' is in the color of a world."

CM 5000; "On the back, it reads: Picture incomplete, rough sketch. I spelled the word illussion wrong, and I should have wrote it in mirror style. This would have really created the appearance of an illusion if you looked at the back holding it up to light." [If we were watching this, We would see this.]

CM 5000: "So I'm not trying to be a nagger, but why am I still in here? I feel that I have a right to nag, right? You should nag too. Isn't it the squeaky wheel that gets the oil? But, soon, this nightmare I am in will be over."

CM 5000: "Dream, again. Cold sweat, warm sweat, wow. In this dream, Cy gave me everything, and gave my Mom everything too. Cy gave me his computer after buying himself two of the same ones lol. Don't forget the Highway System scene. The Nurse who checked in on you scared the shit out of you. Good timing. The dream was about making a formula to drink. In Costa Rica...Ifrit...Hitler was frog, so his can wait."

CM 5000: "Wow, did some Ecclesiastes reading."

CM 5000: "It looks like I will have to come up with some capital to get my Honda fixed. I wonder if I'll have to sell my stock."

CM 5000: "I could ask my friend Jose for a loan, but I have too much pride to do that. Remember, I'm back in reality, the fake reality matrix that I've come to know. It'll be just like the ending to the Illusion of Gaia, except backwards?"

CM 5000: "Meaningless, meaningless, all is meaningless."

CM 5000: "The South Park episode is over, just typing it up now."

Uncartman_8: "This is the Pimsleur Approach."

CM 5000: "But you are still hungry. I am ready to eat some shell. This is an allusion to an earlier episode in which the Norwegians showed me just how predictable I am. I asked for a second scoop of pasta, and in it, was a cleaned piece of shell. Later that day, I was very offended by it, but then, I started to laugh about it because they cleaned the shell, clearly, they meant no offense. It was just like, damn, they got me again."

CM 5000; "I get so embarrassed about showing 'one' side of me, like the fact that I was so offended even for a few minutes over such a silly prank."

Nov 13, 6:34, present-day:

CM 5000: "That's the last page."

iosolomon: "Now, we kill time until 8:32. But what is there even to do? Without weed, I can't really study since, as you can tell, I do suffer from some type of psychiatric disorder, either a personality disorder or schizophrenia, which marijuana helps me with."

And so, CM 5000 and iosolomon continued to venture off.


	4. Lost Pilot Episode 15 Part 2

South Park -A moment of silence

Lost Pilot Episode 15 Part 2/3

originally, Lost Episode 14 Part 3/3

iosolomon: "Earlier, on November 13th, I had a moment of silence for Korea's fallen at 8:32 am."

Nov. 13, 7:43 pm

The first alarm for 8:32 goes off.

42011131943420

It was a weed alarm, so when we are "watching" this, take a hit.

end of 42011131943420

Uncartman_7: "This is the Pimsleur Approach. I think you're just getting lazy now."

Uncartman_6: "And after you complete Unit I of the Pimsleur Approach, might I interest you in Unit II? Why not just get the whole package right now for a grand total of $104?"

8:19 pm

iosolomon laughs, "Oh god" "Arranged marriages have been studied in cultural groups including Indian, Pakistani, and Orthodox _**Jews**_."

At 8:27 pm, the second alarm for 8:32 goes off.

8:32 pm

iosolomon: "A moment of silence [for Korea]." And, a minute later, impeccable timing, a car drove by ending the moment of silence.

xXx

iTunes: "The Book of Ecclesiastes plays."

iosolomon: "Do not worry, King Solomon, your pain will be fleeting, and because of your devotion, Heaven will be here on All of Earth. The cost for you is small compared to the cost of the thousands before you. And, because of the madness of the world, you will develop what we call 'mental illnesses.' These are illnesses of the mind, but it is nothing worse than what you already experienced, we just give it a negative connotation for some reason in the year 2012 A.D."

iosolomon muses, "It is almost like time travel has already been invented, hence, the title, "the chicken or the egg?" The answer is both!"

iosolomon: "I often have dreams of South Park episodes that have either already been created, or will soon be created. I do not know if I was under the influence of drugs (not knowingly), but I remember seeing an episode of South Park where Stan and Kyle and Cartman were all inside the game F-Zero. Either that was a dream from God, or that was an illusion cleverly created by the creators of South Park."

xXx

In an earlier episode, we learn of a South Park prophecy that spoke of giving away size 48 shorts to Fred. CM 5000 insists that iosolomon fulfills the prophecy, so he does. iosolomon then speaks with iTunes in private. (However, as we learned in an earlier episode, iTunes ability to communicate is limited, similar to Bumblebee from the Transformers movies.) iTunes plays songs to communicate with iosolomon.

iosolomon: "What do you want me to do iTunes? I will look at the next 14 songs you select."

iTunes: "1. Move or cause to move in a circle or spiral, esp. quickly."

iTunes: "Learn Spansh." iosolomon laughs, "Soon."

iTunes then plays a song, Caithsith_theme, to cause Uncartman_6 to appear. This song does not count as one of the 14 since its purpose was used to summon Uncartman.

Uncartman_6: "Learn Spanish. I'm just not going to say the other thing anymore."

iosolomon: "I'm sure Madonna will get you to say it at least once more, be careful, she might go for the full remaining 5."

Uncartman_6: "Ok. I am the Pimslesur Approach."

iosolomon: "That's not what you're supposed to say."

iTunes: "Drink alcohol."

iTunes: "Midnight show. Yes, this is for Uncartman_5."

Uncartman_5: "Sigh, go to .net."

Uncartman_4: "Check out the movie Forgotten."

iosolomon: "Hey, who are these songs for? Me, or Uncartman?"

iTunes: "I must finish summoning the remaining Uncartman's."

Uncartman_3: "Clearly, they picked me again. Sweet. And nothing to advertise. Thanks Madonna!"

Uncartman_2: "I'll be going away soon."

Uncartman_1: "Support your local opera and symphony today. Attend a show, or perhaps, a play if opera isn't your thing."

Uncartman_0: "And here I am as time passes.

iTunes to iosolomon: "You've dismantled an atomic bomb."

xXx

Then, Fred invites iosolomon to eat. iosolomon was able to give him the shorts. The South Park prophecy was complete.

xXx

iTunes summons uncartman one final time.

Uncartman: "I am the Pimsleur Approach. My contract is complete. I want money. MONEY!"

iosolomon: "Easy there. You disappear."

Uncartman disappears. "MONEY!" we hear echo.

At 11:48, iTunes played Track48, "You've improved the world.""

iosolomon: "Nine more to go now that Uncartman is out of the way."

iTunes: "The forest. Return to it." [This was the forest that iosolomon had gotten his car stuck, that ultimately led to his illegal and unconstitutional detention in the mental hospital.]

iosolomon: "I will. If that is what you want me to do tonight."

iTunes: "It might be the last dungeon, or it might be blue smoke."

iosolomon: "Wow, you are being very informative for once. I guess that whole voice modulator was a lie."

iTunes: "I just wanted you to appreciate the musicians. DA MUSICIANS. But this is not the seventh."

iTunes: "Friday, you're in love?"

iosolomon: "Aren't you supposed to be telling me?"

iTunes: "Well, I can only give you the clues they program me with."

iosolomon: "I see."

iTunes: "In the beginning God created the Heavens."

iosolomon laughs. "I cannot believe you played Genesis [chapter] 01."

iTunes: "One by one, collect."

iosolomon: "Yes, 5 more now."

iTunes: "Numbers."

iTunes: "Ready to fall, go to the park."

iTunes: "That's the spirit."

iTunes: "It is a mad world."

iTunes: "These dreams of you, the Moondance. Don't forget to pay homage to the Moon Goddess while you are at the forest."

present-day iosolomon: "Hey, future iosolomon, you have to do this after you watch this episode on tv."

future-day iosolomon; "I keep forgetting."

iosolomon: "Can I bring you with me [to the park/forest]?"

iTunes: "Yes, of course."

iTunes: "Don't forget the other prophecy, to drink. Drink some of that wine that's in your brother's room."

iosolomon: "I'm really feeling this. I think I'm just going to sit here at my computer until you give me a real sign."

iTunes: "Then, the love is gone."

iosolomon: "It's just that you are finally speaking to me. I am only at 99.7%. I don't have any weed, remember. And I'm not really a fan of drinking."

iTunes: "Then here you will stay."

iosolomon: "Ouch. That was a potshot."

iTunes: "Then go and dance mad, around the world lalala."

iosolomon: "Alright, I'll establish a cold link, and after the cold link, I will copy only the titles of the next 14 songs and make it one mass line by you."

iTunes: "04: The "conversation" Alpha Exercise iosolomon utters aloud: uh-oh Tears in Heaven Ruth Pure land Sweet dreams are made of these keep on chooglin' We fly high iosolomon laughs only because he's out of weed Tranquil bubble Slide This is how you remind FF6_45_Another_World_of_Beats Shadows merging (album version) Under my thumb Beer in a bar."

iosolomon; "I was just about to ask for a drinking song. Fine, for the next song I am looking for any clue that tells me I am supposed to go drink some wine, and then walk to the park."

iosolomon laughs, "Oh shit! iTunes selects 'I drink Alone.'"

present-day iosolomon: "I laughed again. i still can't believe iTunes actually picked that song."

And much to iosolomon's surprise, iTunes followed through with his request. iTunes had gone through the circular logic of the wind that iosolomon is familiar with. iosolomon knows that he must comply, but speaks with iTunes a little bit longer. It will be the next selection that will give iosolomon the 100% go-ahead.

itunes choses Zechariah. iosolomon googles 'Zechariah' and realizes that iTunes again complied with his request. iosolomon complies with iTunes request.

xXx

iosolomon practices occult methods, and returns to iTunes.

iosolomon: "There I am done with the occult methods that you have trained me for. What am I supposed to be looking for at the 'Forest'?"

iTunes answers the question.

iosolomon: "I see, so it's just another chase after the wind. Another blue smoke. Well, it beats sitting around playing the SNES, unless, of course, you can find me the game Donkey Kong 2, which is somewhere in my house."

iosolomon and CM 5000 venture for the Forest, but CM 5000 decided to stay behind.

xXx

iosolomon returns at Nov 14, 1:57 am. "Nada. Nothing was there. Just more blue smoke."

Nov 14, 11:09 am

iosolomon: "A moment of silence [for Japan, and the People of Hiroshima]."

iosolomon: "I just felt so empty."

We hear with a GTA-style sound effect. "The Honda is ready."

CM 5000: "Will we finally be going to NYC?"

iosolomon: "Yes."

Spaghetti Monster: "Did you take off the BMW logo?"

iosolomon: "Yes."


	5. Lost Pilot Episode 15 Part 3

South Park -Parallel Dimensions short-version

Episode 15 3/3

[This is the shortened version of Parallel Dimensions. The longer version would only make sense if you were actually watching it on tv.]

iosolomon: "Three different times, All the worshipers of the Protector Gods (and Goddess) died."

iosolomon: "Every last Japanese died in Honor of Their God, and so the world was destroyed."

iosolomon: "Every last Muslim died in Honor of Allah, and so the world was destroyed."

iosolomon: "And the poor Hindus, who are a peaceful People by nature, innocently died of the world's radiation pollution. The pollution from the nuclear explosions disperses evenly in the atmosphere over the years. A certain sect of Hinduism is living in the year 2,400 in a Jetson style world, so they died. Shiva came and destroyed the world."

iosolomon: "And now I'm here. Let us not chose madness and folly so that We all die...again.


	6. Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 3

South Park - I grow impatient

Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 3/3

Because I like to do two moment of silences, I may not have a chance to pick another time today except for now.

Nov 15, 9:01, a moment of silence for Ukraine.

Cat typing, "u87yijhn"

Nov 15, 3:15, a moment of silence for Italy. Today was always also supposed to be Italy. The Ides of November.

Nov 15, 9:01, a second moment of silence for Ukraine.

Nov 15, 11:15, a second moment of silence for Italy.

Nov 16, a third moment of silence for Ukraine.

The meaningless feeling returns. I don't feel very well.

iosolomon sighs. "I just posted too much information under my real identity on facebook. I cannot access the internet because of Sage Rat."

Sage Rat: "Go to the rocks."

iosolomon: "Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to post episode 15 as well."

Sage Rat: "Isn't this supposed to be Part 2/3."

iosolomon: "Now that you said that I'll leave this as Part 3/3 just because it'll keep things interesting."

Sage Rat: "That's exactly what we are doing by taking down your internet."

iosolomon: "I'm not too impressed right now."

Sage Rat: "But in the unwritten episode of 2/3, you said you were impressed."

iosolomon: "Now what on earth will ever possess me to write such a thing?"

Sage Rat: "God."

iosolomon: "Hypocrites will be sent to Hell. All of you have been wearing a mask. I suggest the masks come off. As the Sun of God, I grow impatient."

Sage Rat: "Good. Now go."

iosolomon: "Damn, it's 8:20 and I don't even have any weed."

Sage Rat: "Do not forget to have that moment of silence for the Ukrainians. Remember, for the Fallen and veterans, that is why you have not purchased weed even though you have money and Black Josh has offered."

iosolomon: "This is true. I am just bitter."

iosolomon departed for the rocks


	7. Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 2

South Park -Hirohito Possesses

Chapter 14 Part 2/3

iosolomon arrives at the rocks.

iosolomon: "Don't make me say it, Hirohito."

Hirohito: "You have to, or I will not let you leave."

iosolomon: "I'll be back to these rocks when the world is warm. Right now, the world is cold."

iosolomon: "I'm at AC. And now I'm off to D/C. Is this even reality? Why do I always get stuck playing as god."

Hirohito: "The reason why I am here is because every last Japanese died in Honor of Our God."

iosolomon: "And now I'm stuck reliving my life to clean up the world's mess."

Allah: "Do not forget about the Muslim sacrifice."

iosolomon: "And, every last Muslim, too, died for Allah."

Shiva: "And do not forget about the unknowing, peaceful Hindus who worship me."

iosolomon: "And the peaceful Hindus unknowingly died of radiation poisoning due to America's Nuclear Holocaust."

iosolomon: "Where will I go? How about Key West?"

Hirohito: "Wrong. You are to visit Detroit and Cleveland."

iosolomon: "Sigh. That will be a long, long trip. Sodom and Gomorrah here I here come!"

xXx

iosolomon: "I am the Reincarnation of King Solomon. I am the Sun of God. Two of America's cities have to be sacrificed to the Japanese God. I am on my way to Detroit and Cleveland in case if it is them. I have no place to sleep tonight, but in my car."

Sage Rat: "I told you in the future that this episode writes itself. Do you see how that worked?

iosolomon: "I never doubted you, Sage Rat. I just wish it didn't have to be."

xXx

Hirohito: "Doh is actually your friend, David. He tricked you."

iosolomon: "Oh."

iosolomon to Doh: "How's your brother, David? You mole."

Doh: "My brother?"

iosolomon: "Yes, your brother Dan. You did good disguising your voice, but the give away was the 'doh' in your name, and you parents' grief wasn't real."

Doh: "Wtf? Are you drunk or something?"

iosolomon: "Lol"

Doh: "Thanks for the crack in my phone. Because you texted me, I accidentally knocked over my phone and now there's a crack in the screen. And my brother's name isn't Dan."

iosolomon: "I'll get you a new phone then."

Doh: "Lol It's ok. It's small. And I'm assuming based on your text about "disguising my voice" that someone prank called you and you thought it was me or something."

iosolomon: "We could go with that."

Doh: "Then thanks for making drop my phone for no fucking reason lol."

iosolomon almost crashes while reading that text. Doh strikes again. [In the tv show, we will see the horrible twist of Fate that iosolomon almost had. Fortunately, They were protecting him.]

iosolomon says aloud, "What the fuck was that?"

iosolomon: "Ok, we're even now."

Doh: "No we're not. I didn't do anything. I will get you back."

iosolomon: "I'll explain it to you through south park."

Doh: "Omg I forgot! I still have to read it."

iosolomon: "No you'll get to watch it. They signed a contract with me."

Doh: "Really stfu study lol"

iosolomon: "Yes but I must go now I'm driving."

Doh: "I don't believe you, but ok later"

iosolomon thinks to self, "Yeah he doesn't believe me because he's a mole and he knows for a fact it's not true at the time."

xXx

iosolomon to Jose: "Why am I still dying over here? I feel so alone."

Jose: "Hey ill get you an email sent soon. I wish I could chill with you more but working nonstop because of the hurricane. Im getting a sweeet paycheck next week though! "

iosolomon: "Yeah thanks let me know when it's sent. I just don't feel well at all knowing my own family won't tell me the truth. :( "

Jose: "Havent forgotten, just drafting it. I need to put energy into it."

iOSolomon: "I am God. I have sacrificed 25 years of my life, and died three times. You mean to tell me you can't find the time or energy to do it? Meh I give up with hypocrites. I'm on my way to Sodom and Gomorrah."

Jose: "Im basically drafting something that says the same thing as ive already told you but in a different way. Im going to add a video, some texts, I just want to put care in it. When are you going?"

iosolomon: "God has directed me to Detroit and Cleveland to mourn for the People. I am on my way now."

Jose: "Ive been to cleveland, its like eehh, go to columbus I would want to go with you, freaken awesome clubs there!"

iOSolomon: "Jose do not talk to God like that. This is not a time to be selfish. This is a week of mourning. Seriously I will have no problem with ordering your execution. So stop."

Jose: "I'm heading to Peru. I thought you said we were all god. Dj I get waaay confused sometimes. The Wise Man says Be Merry but Jose realizes there is a Time for everything under the heavens.

Are you dj?"

Hirohito: "No, he isn't."

iOSolomon: "This is a week of mourning. I am traveling to Detroit and Cleveland in Honor of the sacrifice America will be making. You need to respect my wishes as God. I am true God and I determine if you go to heaven or hell. Do you understand? Next time you disrespect me I will order your execution. Now all I want to hear from you is sorry or silence."

Jose: "Ok whoever you are I will not let you do anything to my friend DJ. Dj told me yesterday that we are all God. If now someone says otherwise then it is as a result if psychosis."

Hirohito: "Possession, not psychosis."

iOSolomon: "Yes but I an the One who is true God. You were created by Me in My Image. I do not want to send anyone to hell. If I execute you I ensure you stay in heaven. I am Emperor of all of Asia. You will learn respect. I will say it one final time. Remain silent, or apologize."

Jose: "I only have my loyalties with dj."

present-day iosolomon laughs.

Jose: "Thus I will disrespect whoever you are. You are not True God. True God would not demand such silliness and if he does I would rather live as far as possible from that monster."

Hirohito: "Very well. The first order of business I will do is order your execution when I ascend my throne. Do not talk to me again unless it is an apology. And no I'm not joking.*

IOSolokon then lashes out at Jose by phone.

iosolomon realizes that Jose misunderstood. iosolomon cannot tell a lie.

iosolomon: "You can disrespect me all you want. I won't executer anyone for that. But you were not disrespecting me, you were disrespecting the dead. And disrespecting the dead will lead to your execution. So just don't do it. I'll be back on Monday."

Jose: "I apologize."

iosolomon: "I am sorry as well. I just don't want things to turn out this way, :("

Jose: "Ok hit me up on monday."

iosolomon: "Tonight, at 3:13, I'll be having a five minute moment of silence for England, France, Germany, Belgium, Mexico, Peru, and Canada and the rest of south america. Tomorrow, will be the remainder of the world, like Ethiopia India Australia and everyone else."

xXx

iTunes plays ten years ago.

iosolomon muses to self: "I wonder where I was ten years ago on Nov 17, 2002. I was still sleep-walking through a nightmare. Everything in my life has been a lie. King Solomon laments. They still do not tell me the truth. When, where, how will it happen? I do not want to sleep in my car, but I see it happening. Should I go to Cali?"

King Solomon: "There's nothing there for you. They will just keep dragging it out."

xXx

iosolomon arrives at Cleveland.

iosolomon: "Cleveland. I remember Stubblefield. I'm sorry you have to lose your home. It's out of my hands. But I will be just as upset as you. I've lost my home, I'm still living in Hell."

King Solomon: "What do you mean it has to be destroyed? I just keep crying."

xXx

iosolomon wakes up after a 3 hour-nap.,

Kefka: "Damn, I wish I could get some real sleep."

Iosolomon: "lol not like that was actually you sleeping you're already dead."

And so, iosolomon and CM 5000 continue onward to Detroit.

Allah appears briefly.

xXx

iosolomon reaches Detroit.

iosolomon: "I do not want to confront the demons of Our past. This is overwhelming."

iosolomon accidentally makes a right-hand turn, following a sign that reads: "To Canada."

iosolomon is stopped by the Customs and Border Patrol Officers, who remind him that it is not just America's sacrifice, but also Canada's, and the world's. An international border would be destroyed with Detroit.

xXx

iosolomon: "I keep having déjà vu."

The last thorn of the mask that iosolomon was wearing is pulled out.

Hirohito: "I designed the matrix that you are inside. With each passing day, your hatred towards Jews, Catholics, and Americans grows."

King Solomon; "I find it humorous that those three groups have been tricked by You, Hirohito."

And so, Emperor Hirohito's possession left.


	8. Honest Abe Lincoln

South Park -Honest Abe Lincoln

Lost Pilot Episode 18, 19, and 20 Part 1/2

Chapter 18: Gettysburg

Abraham Lincoln reveals to iosolomon that he is also Abe's reincarnation.

Abe: "Tomorrow, go to Lexington."

God: "Have a moment of silence every hour tomorrow."

Chapter 19: Onward to Lexington.

Allah: "You must get to ground zero by 1306."

iosolomon possessed by Allah, floors it to Manhattan.

iosolomon kneels facing the former site of 9/11 at 1306, and has a moment of silence.

iosolomon has a moment of silence in Lexington at the Paul Revere capture site, then heads to Boston.

Josh: "Hey it's Josh H. and this is my new number."

iosolomon: "Hey man was wondering what happened to you: well hey sorry for your loss and happy belated bday (but I sent a happy bday on the 15th)"

Josh: "Oh thanks."

iosolomon: "You got an iPhone?"

Josh: "Yes air. Amigo do you have a car? I have weed to smoke and wanna go to Walmart."

iosolomon: "Yes, but I'm in Boston."

Josh: "Oh, why?"

iosolomon: "Just remembering our veterans; God sent me here."

Josh: "Oh. Why are you praising Allah on Facebook. He doesn't like our veterans."

iosolomon: "I praise all."

Josh: "Well people think you're insane."

iosolomon: "I am the reincarnation of Lincoln. No one thinks I'm insane."

Josh: "You need to be locked up and the key thrown away."

iosolomon: "Lol that already happened."

iosolomon has the final moment of silence in Arlington, MA.

Chapter 20:

iosolomon wakes up, and reads off every Nation to remember All the World's People.

While stuck in the infamous 95 traffic in Connecticut,

iosolomon: "Why don't the People of Connecticut demand a solution, iosolomon wonders. It's been a problem for tears and it's only going to worse. Going to be a long morning especially since I have no excuse to drive in the shoulder today. But it's always useful to see first-hand what the People have to suffer through just so I can say I've been there."

Eric: "I told you it was bad."

iosolomon salutes the Flag.

iosolomon sporadically waves at the People. But no one waves back.

iosolomon: "Why doesn't anyone wave back? I would wave back to a random person waving."

iosolomon to Jose: "There's nothing for me on this world but liars and hypocrites. (you told me the truth but one person doesn't get me the weed lol). Dies the email explain how I can finally have free will?"

Jose: "Yes."

Abraham equips the Honda with American Flags. iosolomon drives down 7th avenue waving the Flag like Paul Revere.

iosolomon accidentally loses one of the American flags by pressing the wrong button.

iosolomon and CM 5000 return to the home base.


	9. Madonna's Message

South Park -Madonna's Message

Lost Pilot Episode 26 Part 2/2

iosolomon repeatedly clicks through iTunes, again.

Britney and Madonna appear again.

Britney and Madonna: "All my People. All my People. Grab a partner, and take it down."

Madonna: "Britney."

Britney: "Are you ready?"

Madonna: "Uh-huh."

Britney: "It's me against the music. Just me."

Madonna; "And me."

Britney: "Yeah."

Madonna: "Come on."

Britney and Madonna start rocking out. Michael Jackson appears. "I'm back from the dead. insert Michael Jackson South Park sound effect."

iosolomon; "Oh yeah, that was a classic South Park moment imo."

iosolomon: "But, Madonna, I do not know if I am supposed to stop at this duo, or if I am supposed to find a solo?"

Madonna; "Sorry, Britney's my girl. Keep clicking for the message."

iosolomon laughs. iosolomon keeps clicking.

iTunes [a second time]: "Me against the music."

Britney and Madonna appear again.

Sage Rat: "Got you bitch. Keep clicking."

iosolomon: "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you never unblocked me on aim, Sage Rat."

Sage Rat: "We would all be sitting in a much warmer world, waiting to die of nuclear radiation poisoning. Mitt Romney would have followed through with MAD [mutually assured destruction] of the Japanese. So put your hands up for Detroit, because the People there will die for Our sins."

iosolomon puts his hands up for Detroit, as always, whenever that song plays.

iosolomon continues clicking.

Madonna: "You've found me. This message is from your wife again. She gives you the go ahead."

iosolomon: "Funny, I'm not even married."

Madonna: "Forget your problems."

iosolomon: "And that concludes Lost Pilot Episode 26 Part 2/2 which will be posted to both southparkstudios and fan fiction dot net. Part 1/2 was posted only to southparkstudios due to an anomaly that was already created during Lost Pilot Episode 14 Part 2/3."

Madonna: "In the demonstration of this evidence, some have called it religion. This is not a coincidence. Would you like to try?"

CM 5000: "And so, the answer to iosolomon's question, 'Do I Really Have To Get Maced...TWICE?!' is Yes, lest God is not real."

iosolomon: "And I will be in deep mourning for that entire week. It will feel like Hell. I have already seen myself watching the explosions from afar. My heart stops as I 'flash forward' to that horrible day. Such madness. Such folly. All is meaningless to me. But I will never forget."

"Praise Allah, most merciful, most forgiving."

Emperor Hirohito: "Personally, I would rather see the entire destruction of America for She truly Dishonored God's Laws found in the Bible."

Abraham Lincoln: "But, fortunately, the Japanese are a Honorable People. Justice comes at a steep price. And I look forward to seeing these two Nations grow from Their regrettable four tragedies."

iosolomon weeps. "It just feels like a horrible nightmare."

iosolomon collects himself. "The Sun is Shining."

"Amen."

4201126848420

iosolomon; "And if that sacrifice is unavoidable, I would expect that the 200,000 should already be partying Their brains out."

iosolomon hears the static from a past life. iosolomon cries again for those People.

end of 4201126848420

iosolomon: "Alright, iTunes, before I start spiraling into a depression rant, help me end this on a good note. I restarted Your program. We'll go with the Lucky 21 countdown. But keep in mind readers / viewers, the iTunes selection is limited."

21. Sage Rat: "I played some good jokes on You."

20. Moon Goddess: "Don't forget, future iosolomon, you still have to pay Me homage at the Forest."

19. iosolomon laughs. "Troops march on. Lol?! Why are they playing _this_ song?"

Emperor Hirohito: "Because the troops march on. They do not fight."

iosolomon: "Nice touch."

18. iTunes: "And she said, whoa! Party!"

17. iTunes: "Don't forget to relax and meditate between all that partying."

16. iosolomon: "Damn, I was afraid you would play a song to make me cry, but that is okay."

iTunes: "Lose yourself."

iosolomon weeping, "It's their homes."

15. iosolomon: "Wanted Dead or Alive, but what does Bon Jovi have to do with Detroit or Cleveland? I laugh."

14. iTunes: "Rock on. All the small things."

13. iTunes: "The Bible Chapter, Judges." iosolomon laughs.

12. iosolomon: "Layla by Eric Clapton. Yeah, man."

11. iTunes: "Genesis Chapter 25." This confuse me. I'll listen to it, and go pee in a bottle.

iosolomon: "But if you play Put Your Hands up for Detroit, I'll cheer and rejoice. But I don't have any Cleveland related songs."

iosolomon google searches, "Bands from Cleveland list. Reads through 64 bands."

iosolomon: "Damn I used to have bone thugs.

10. itunes: "Genesis Chapter 34."

iosolomon: "Make use of this time however you want. I'll be downloading some Cleveland songs."

iosolomon: "Oh sweet, I have Nine Inch Nails, a band from Cleveland. I hope iTunes selects a Cleveland song."

iosolomon: "I would very much like to attend the Cleveland Quartet and Orchestra at Their home."

10.0. iosolomon creates a cold link, and plays Alestorm by Keelhauled just to ensure that Cleveland makes it to the list. iosolomon: "Just to be safe because I like to make sure everyone is remembered."

iosolomon: "Oh god, an advertisement for AC/DC, which has become a code word with me to mean Detroit and Cleveland. [I had a horrible nightmare of AC reminding me of Hiroshima once.]"

iosolomon: "Alright, iTunes, 10 more to go, and there will be 0a, 0c, 0d, 0c2."

9. itunes: "Swamp Music, Lynyrd Skynyd."

Abe: "I really do hope Ron Paul has already been elected President, otherwise, the Confederacy will rise again."

8. iTunes: "Under my thumb, Rolling Stones."

7. iTunes: "When I grow up, Pussycat Dolls."

iosolomon looks up each member's biography to see if there is any connection to Detroit or Cleveland. No connection found.

6. Emperor Hirohito: "Oh god, not this horrible song." iTunes: "Let me love you, Mario."

5. iTunes: "It's been a while, stains."

4. Sage Rat: "They picked this song because the band has my name in it, and I appeared in this episode."

Setzer: "Same thing with me."

iTunes: "Jump Jive An' Wal, Brian Setzer Orchestra. Yeah, this song just pumps me up with energy."

3. iosolomon: "Oh no. A sad metaphorical song." iTunes: "Aeris theme. FF7."

2. iosolomon laughs: "Another FF7 song. Mount Corel2."

Cartman_from_Epitaph_2: "Do not forget about me."

iosolomon: "I haven't. I just haven't had any weed."

1. iTunes: "Highway to the Danger Zone. Kenny Loggins."

Song 0. "Pushing me away, Lincoln Park." Quick search of the members.

Linkin Park: "The sacrifice was never knowing."

Song 0a. "DOA, Foo fighters." iosolomon laughs, "This reminds me of the DEA, and hey, at least the People of Detroit and Cleveland don't have to worry about that. Have fun,"

Song 0c. "Genesis 02. On the 7th day."

iosolomon sighs, it will be the 7th day after my first macing that I can finally start to heal."

Song 0d. iosolomon: "Hey what happened to Put Your Hands up for Detroit?!"

iTunes: "All I Want, Toad the Wet Sprocket."

Song 0c. "Requiem for a Dream, Clint Mansell."

iosolomon: "And this song brings back a lot of nostalgia about Detroit in pop culture. Like Clint Eastwood's performance in Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood's advertisement for Chrysler, Eminem's advertisement for Chrysler. And, for Cleveland, we can never forget CLEVELAND ROCKS!

Song 0c2. "Put your hands up for Detroit."

iosolomon: "I knew you wouldn't let me down iTunes."

iosolomon changes the name to "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit And Cleveland!"

4201126933420

Honest Abe: "Actually, iTunes selected a relaxation song called Mind Relax Flury by Mo Muller."

iosolomon: "It's good shit to listen to if you're on hallucinogenic drugs."

CM 5000 re-establishes a cold link with iTunes. "Put Your Hands Up For Detroit And Cleveland" comes back on.

end of 4201126933420

"Praise Allah."

"Amen."

420, dmt, and whatever the hell else you like. ;)

4201126954420

future iosolomon: "Don't do it. Don't type that. Just end the episode how it is."

Custer: "Yeah, We the Native Americans wouldn't mind if you cheated just a little."

iosolomon: "But the prophecy...the prophecy says that it must be done."

Custer: "But, you can change the prophecy. Just don't type it."

future iosolomon: "Yeah, listen to Custer. Go ask Winona LaDuke if she seconds that."

Winona LaDuke: "I second that."

iosolomon: "But do you know what would happen if I violate the prophecy?"

Griffin, from Men In Black 3 appears: "Nothing bad will happen if you violate this prophecy."

future iosolomon: "Don't do it!"

CM 5000: "I...I can delete it from my memory banks. Why don't you just listen to them?"

iosolomon: "The South Park prophecy must be fulfilled."

Custer, Winona LaDuke: "We are behind You no matter what."

iosolomon: "I will walk with the displaced citizens to Their new homes. I am tired of American History being so filthy."

future iosolomon: "It was always unavoidable, but at least we tried."

Griffin: "I even lied. There would have been great disaster if you didn't walk with them."

iosolomon laughs, "Thanks guys and gals."

end of 4201126954420

Fin/end of "Do I Really Have to Get Maced...TWICE?!" 420


End file.
